| 005 The Aftermath |
[Sep. 16th, 2008|10:46 am] |
[the ink is splotched and smeared in some places from a shaking hand]
I'm always surprised at how I find myself back in safe hands after the full moon goes down, it was about 8 o'clock this morning when I came to less than a hundred feet off of my flat. I don't remember coming back, but then there's hardly a time that I remember anything at all. I always fear that he knows his way back because if it fancies him to do so he can come into town and wreak his havoc. That's a terrifying thought as I haven't found any particular cure or other for lycanthropy aside from the Wolf's Bane.
I've been sleeping all day today, on and off, the old aches and pains make it fitful at best. I'm still exhausted but I should move around a bit and make myself some food and a cup of tea, it'll give me energy back. It hurts too much to be moving too far though.
I don't know how I dragged myself up those stairs.
Added:
Had time to assess the damage, it isn't bad, a few scrapes and a couple of nasty bruises and some wicked gashes but they aren't exposed when I'm fully dressed. All in all, not bad...
-Remus. |
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[Sep. 14th, 2008|11:33 am] |
The full moon is tomorrow night. I'm so afraid. |
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| 003 |
[Aug. 17th, 2008|11:17 pm] |
To lose oneself is terrible... Merlin knows I hate facing the moon, I dread it and even after it has passed I can feel the weight of it upon my shoulders. My bones ache, I feel so... weak. I'm so tired. I'm alone.
Edit:
These are the moments when I realize how utterly pathetic I sound when I pity myself, I'm sorry to have thrown that sob story out there it really was unnecessary and far more whining that I am entitled to. |
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| 002 |
[Aug. 6th, 2008|11:35 pm] |
The Full Moon is August 16th so that means a week of freedom from that mind numbing terror. I don't believe there is ever a time that I didn't fear the transformation, not before the veil and certainly not after it. I don't know how to describe what it's like to lose one's self to that internal beast. It is frightening enough to control those animalistic instincts on a day to day basis, every day it becomes harder and harder and I feel like that creature inside of me is just waiting to burst forth and wreak his havoc upon the world in this form or the next and it terrifies me. I'm not ashamed to admit it; call me coward if you will, but endure what I have first before judging me, not that I wish to be seen as some hero or anything because I'm not.
The shadow of the wolf is always there, I am reminded constantly by the collection of scars I've gained over the years and see it in my eyes whenever I look into a mirror, I've taken to looking away every time I pass one and it disgusts me. But I'm hopeful despite the oncoming terror I must face because I've made an arrangement with Severus of my own accord, we're going to run a few experiments and some testing and maybe... just maybe we'll find something. Not tomorrow or the next day, or a week from now, not even a month or several maybe not even a year.. but we're doing something and that is all that I can hope for right now. I need to speak with a few more people about this though, extra eyes and ears will do wonders.
( Private Self Pitying Moment ) |
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[Jul. 18th, 2008|01:17 am] |
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It's a full moon tonight. |
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